Self Reflection
The process of researching and writing this first essay has been much more difficult than anticipated, although I have quickly been able to reflect on why this is the case which will hopefully support my development through the course. The first obstacle I had to contend with is that I am still in the process of deciding what my Body of Work will be about so I am unable to base the essay on this. It is likely however, that my work will be centred in the real world, probably influenced by documentary, so I decided to focus my essay on the subject of photography and reality. My immediate concern was how I would be able to confine this subject within the small word count of 1000 words. I was conscious that I wanted to be able to choose a subject that fell under the umbrella of photography and reality, while being focused enough to be contained with the essay wordcount.
Approach:
Initial ideas I had as subjects for the essay were quite broad such as power relationships within photography, representations of the Other (particularly in terms of class) and the ethics of photography. I decided to approach research in an informal fashion, hoping that through reading a theme would emerge. I revisited some essays and books that had influenced me through my studies with OCA and began rereading and making notes. This was an enjoyable but fruitless approach which has resulted in the majority of material I have encountered being unused for the essay. The main issue here has been not having a working title or clear subject matter for the essay. As I started writing the essay, I had to spend some time rereading passages as the notes I had made were not necessarily relevant to what I had highlighted. This is something that could potentially be a major issue when I begin my dissertation, and looking forward, the literature review and question setting are going to be critical to my success in this area.
Subject matter:
The choice of the FSA as the subject matter came as something of a surprise to me – I had envisaged discussing something much more contemporary. The decision was driven by pragmatism – I was not getting anywhere fast and needed to make progress. This assignment is about getting to grips with study and academic writing and I recognised it was important not to spend too much time procrastinating in order to move on with the course. Once I had decided on the frame of the subject matter I began to make much quicker progress reinforcing my view that understanding my research subjects will be critical as I work through the course.
The essay:
For the essay I tried to keep my frame of reference tight, pairing down to a few key resources. Rereading, this is definitely a first draft that requires much work to improve. I suspect it is insufficiently academic in tone and although I have tried to give the essay a clear structure, my argument is unclear. I conclude the essay with an extended quote from John Tagg that seemed a fitting way to bring my discussion to an end, however, I am now unconvinced that this is an appropriate way to finish. In the conclusion I also allude to themes of power, representation and ideology that were initially on my mind when I considered themes for the essay. There are other areas that I considered including such as theories of the gaze and semiotics but decided that bringing these in would complicate matters too much. I am going to have to become more comfortable in tackling these complex theoretical ideas while balancing this with including ideas that are relevant rather than attempting to show I have read difficult texts. On a technical level I hope that I have fulfilled the criteria required in terms of referencing and layout but recognise that this is an opportunity to gain feedback about this and amend accordingly.
Learnings:
Approaching level 3 the idea of being able to completely control my study was something I looked forward to. Having spent some time grappling with the course I recognise that this freedom is quite daunting and difficult to contend with. I feel I have been working hard but not really getting anywhere. I have tried to be disciplined and not focus on course exercises that are of interest but not going to advance my progress. Perhaps I should have been more focused on these however as a way of building up some momentum. How closely my Contextual Studies work needs to be aligned to my Body of Work is on my mind, perhaps too much. I am still in the process of experimenting with my BoW and I doubt the work I have done so far will form my final project, so again, this feels unformed and untethered.
Despite the difficulty I have encountered with this first assignment, and my lack of satisfaction in what I have produced, this has still been a valuable exercise that I hope will help me gain some clearer and more efficient working practices going forward.